Damn its been awhile since my last post, but during these last couple months I have seen little or no need to drag on about my life. True, I have probably left the one or two of you that actually read this hanging in a state of despair and utter curiosity, but you can't expect anything more or less from me. Alas however, I have come in search of an audience in which to vent, ears in which to hear my words, and possibly some advice in order to help me along my way.
Despite popular belief, I'm not that big of an idiot. I know exactly what you all want to hear, but quite frankly why would i give it to you now thus causing you to skim the rest of my life like it means nothing? Trust me, we'll get to her when we finish.
Glancing upon my last post, it occurred to me that we have a lot to catch up on. First off, I have a vehicle. Now this may not be news to some of you, but to the rest of the class it is. A small Chevy pickup truck, in which i barely fit, is what I'm driving these days, but for the 500 dollars i paid for it, its quite reliable. Hasn't failed me yet as I drive the freeway day in and day out for 20 minutes each direction in order to get to work. Yes, I still work my dismal but slightly satisfying job at the Home Depot. I still do nothing more than push carts, and become everyones' little bitch, but hey...money is money at this point in the game. The big bucks come as soon as we pass Go, collect our 200 dollars, and have another go at college.
Speaking of the home depot, I finally got my forklift license. True, every lot guy and cashier we have loathes the fact that i went out of my way to achieve this small goal of mine, but what do I care. Deep down it brings me joy to know that I am doing all that I can to spite them. More importantly I did this to be closer to my mystery girl, and to give me another excuse to be out in her department. Now as of late, it has become more of a burden on myself than an aid to be with her. I am now even more of a slave bitch to every god damn person that ever before, and I find that the continuous acts of bitchery are slowly wearing on what little patience I have for this place.
For those of you paying attention, I did use the term lot guys as a plural statement. Yes, we have more than 2 lot guys at our beloved Home Depot. One of our new guys happened to be my room mate back at BSU, and lets face it...I talked to whoever i could to get him hired. At first, hiring my friend Stretch might have been a good idea, but slowly and surely I find it being more of a mistake than anything.
Now for those of you who decided to skip the rest of my little shpeel, this would be the time to stop scrolling. STOP!!! Ok, now that I have your attention, lets talk about my increasingly beautiful mystery girl. Now I'm sorry to get anyone;s hopes up, I have still yet to confess how I feel about her. However, leave it to Stretch to help out. One of the main reasons I regret helping him get a job with me at the Home Depot was that he knows too much. He knows everything about my mystery girl, because I confided in him of course. Him and her taunting me with jealousy aside, he made the biggest mistake he could have possibly made short of actually asking her out himself. He told her everything.
She knows. She knows how I feel, how long I've felt this way about her, basically everything about me. After knocking me on my ass like he did, he helped me back up with this little bit of info. Upon revealing this information to her, he asked her if she was going to do something about it now that she knows, to which she responded "No. I'm going to let him make a move on his own terms". However now she waits.
As of tonight, she has known now for a full week. Thanks to my ability to start confessing, but never actually finishing, she knows that I know she knows. It has been a full week, and I have yet to confess how I feel about her, even though she knows. Needless to say its been a much different week than normal. And of course, thanks to our good buddy Stretch every fucking person at the Home Depot knows about us now. With all the gossip that flies around that place they really outta rename it Home Depot High School. But that's beside the point. Really it makes no difference, except for the weird looks i get at work when I'm with her, and the constant "Why don't you just grow a pair and ask her out already?" Its something you get used to pretty quick surprisingly.
Monday, June 11, 2007
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Wandering aimlessly
Lately I have found myself lost in my thoughts, and sort of floating through life. I still lack a solid grasp on what I want my future to hold. What will I be doing in 10 years? What will I be doing tomorrow? For that matter, where will I be tomorrow?
As few of you may already know, I have relieved myself of my job at Albertsons. Wasn't the best sort of job for me. I'm too social, and need people to talk to, and working freight with just 2 other guys wasn't going to cut it. Especially considering the guys were each 30+ or so, and truth be told a little odd. Thankfully, I never did put in a two weeks notice at Home Depot, so I may continue bringing forth my wrath upon them. But there is more good news here than on the surface. We must dive in deep to seek out the true benefits to what we have.
My roommate and I have already made plans to leave our current "home" in seek of another, and more importantly one in Boise. On the cover, reasons are to be closer to school when we start that up, but when you open the book and begin to read you find that there are more reasons that you first thought. Being in Boise gives reason to me working at the Boise Home Depot still.
All these plans...ideas..goals..thats all they are. Could they help lead me to my future? As I wander aimlessly throughout this new path I have found, hopefully I can find my way.
As few of you may already know, I have relieved myself of my job at Albertsons. Wasn't the best sort of job for me. I'm too social, and need people to talk to, and working freight with just 2 other guys wasn't going to cut it. Especially considering the guys were each 30+ or so, and truth be told a little odd. Thankfully, I never did put in a two weeks notice at Home Depot, so I may continue bringing forth my wrath upon them. But there is more good news here than on the surface. We must dive in deep to seek out the true benefits to what we have.
My roommate and I have already made plans to leave our current "home" in seek of another, and more importantly one in Boise. On the cover, reasons are to be closer to school when we start that up, but when you open the book and begin to read you find that there are more reasons that you first thought. Being in Boise gives reason to me working at the Boise Home Depot still.
All these plans...ideas..goals..thats all they are. Could they help lead me to my future? As I wander aimlessly throughout this new path I have found, hopefully I can find my way.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I have a dream...or had
Is anyone truly ever ready to give up on their hopes and dreams for a new life?
Maybe this is a little overly dramatic, considering my current situation. Its not really a new life we're looking at. Just a new job. However this does mean leaving behind my hopes and dreams...my mystery girl...
Today I heard they were hiring freight guys at the Albertsons near my house. Naturally, since i had applied a few days prior, I thought, what the hell...lets go check it out. Walked in off the street and got an interview right away. Nailed the interview. I mean, what do you expect? I did get a medal in academic decathlon for my interview skills. They want me in for a drug test later on today, then I start. In one hand we have this new beginning, but in the other we have the perfect girl, and my crappy job that I put up with to be with her.
Now its not like her and I are or were actually dating. But seeing her day in and day out like I did always gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, her and I would be together. I really like her, and I still do. I can only hope that either a miracle happens here soon, or that we have another chance later on down the road when I move back out to Boise.
One can only hope...and dream.
Maybe this is a little overly dramatic, considering my current situation. Its not really a new life we're looking at. Just a new job. However this does mean leaving behind my hopes and dreams...my mystery girl...
Today I heard they were hiring freight guys at the Albertsons near my house. Naturally, since i had applied a few days prior, I thought, what the hell...lets go check it out. Walked in off the street and got an interview right away. Nailed the interview. I mean, what do you expect? I did get a medal in academic decathlon for my interview skills. They want me in for a drug test later on today, then I start. In one hand we have this new beginning, but in the other we have the perfect girl, and my crappy job that I put up with to be with her.
Now its not like her and I are or were actually dating. But seeing her day in and day out like I did always gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, her and I would be together. I really like her, and I still do. I can only hope that either a miracle happens here soon, or that we have another chance later on down the road when I move back out to Boise.
One can only hope...and dream.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Banned
That's right, banned. I was banned last night from one of my favorite CS servers because I was on a roll and they thought i was hacking. Just because I got lucky enough to nail 12 headshots in a row without dying does not make me a hacker...just makes me lucky. Whiny little bitches...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Another day, another dollar...yet I'm still broke
Ever have one of those moments that just stop you in your tracks and make you wonder? Well this story isn't entirely about that. First off I don't usually make any sort of distinguishable track, and I wonder all the time. But enough of the games, today was definitely a shocking one.
The day started like any other. Got up at 6am in order to make it out to work in time for my 8am shift. An update for those now joining us, I currently ride my bike to work. Tis an hour and a half bike ride, but I somehow manage without killing myself. Any who, the only thing to mark this day different than any other, was that it was my birthday. Yes the day of days finally had been brought upon me.
Now of course your birthday amongst your peers is always a questionable adventure, now matter what age you seem to be. You could be turning 16 in high school, or in my case 20 and about to head to work with people ranging from 18-50. Either way, people can tell a lot about you by the way you treat your birthday. How you react to people wishing you a happy birthday, and of course, if you make a big deal about your birthday. Normally I don't really care about what others think...
Who the hell am I kidding, of course I care what others think. Every last person in society cares what others think. It could be the creepy emo kid cutting himself, all the way to the valedictorian making photocopies of his/her report card and posting it all over the school. Everyone cares about what others think. Its all on how you show it.
I feel only a true friend would wish you happy birthday without needing to be reminded that it is in fact your birthday. Not that I'm saying I have all my friends birthdays memorized, but remembering something as significant as a birthday seems to create a sort of unique bond between the thanker and the thankee.
When it comes right down to it, I don't really care too much about my fellow coworkers. True, like i mentioned before, everyone cares what others think, but at the time their thoughts weren't so much a part of my own. Truly I only really wondered if she'd remembered. No, not wondered...hoped.
Maybe I put too much pressure on it, but I felt that if she thinks about me remotely the way I think about her, my mystery girl would remember and mention my birthday. Might even be the first words out of her mouth. Sadly though, they were the last words out of her mouth, but only because someone nearby reminded her. I might be blowing this out of proportion a little, and I really think I am...but with that very act of having to remind her in front of me while I appeared distracted just stopped me in my tracks and got me wondering...
"what does she really think about me?"
The day started like any other. Got up at 6am in order to make it out to work in time for my 8am shift. An update for those now joining us, I currently ride my bike to work. Tis an hour and a half bike ride, but I somehow manage without killing myself. Any who, the only thing to mark this day different than any other, was that it was my birthday. Yes the day of days finally had been brought upon me.
Now of course your birthday amongst your peers is always a questionable adventure, now matter what age you seem to be. You could be turning 16 in high school, or in my case 20 and about to head to work with people ranging from 18-50. Either way, people can tell a lot about you by the way you treat your birthday. How you react to people wishing you a happy birthday, and of course, if you make a big deal about your birthday. Normally I don't really care about what others think...
Who the hell am I kidding, of course I care what others think. Every last person in society cares what others think. It could be the creepy emo kid cutting himself, all the way to the valedictorian making photocopies of his/her report card and posting it all over the school. Everyone cares about what others think. Its all on how you show it.
I feel only a true friend would wish you happy birthday without needing to be reminded that it is in fact your birthday. Not that I'm saying I have all my friends birthdays memorized, but remembering something as significant as a birthday seems to create a sort of unique bond between the thanker and the thankee.
When it comes right down to it, I don't really care too much about my fellow coworkers. True, like i mentioned before, everyone cares what others think, but at the time their thoughts weren't so much a part of my own. Truly I only really wondered if she'd remembered. No, not wondered...hoped.
Maybe I put too much pressure on it, but I felt that if she thinks about me remotely the way I think about her, my mystery girl would remember and mention my birthday. Might even be the first words out of her mouth. Sadly though, they were the last words out of her mouth, but only because someone nearby reminded her. I might be blowing this out of proportion a little, and I really think I am...but with that very act of having to remind her in front of me while I appeared distracted just stopped me in my tracks and got me wondering...
"what does she really think about me?"
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Say Cheese
The time has finally come...for pictures! Yes, pictures. All of you who have been waiting, and anticipating can wait no longer. I giveth to you...pictures of my wreck.
Lets see...an explaination is in order. First picture is me. The survivor, standing next to my car. Second is a front view of the car, close up on the windshield. Third picture is of the broken window which I climbed out of to escape the wreck. Out of the 3 back windows, its the only one that broke. And the last picture is of the driver side door, where i was sitting during the wreck. Enjoy the pictures. If you want more, head on over to my myspace page. You'll need an account, but here is the link. www.myspace.com/bigmacrazy
Lets see...an explaination is in order. First picture is me. The survivor, standing next to my car. Second is a front view of the car, close up on the windshield. Third picture is of the broken window which I climbed out of to escape the wreck. Out of the 3 back windows, its the only one that broke. And the last picture is of the driver side door, where i was sitting during the wreck. Enjoy the pictures. If you want more, head on over to my myspace page. You'll need an account, but here is the link. www.myspace.com/bigmacrazy
Sunday, February 25, 2007
A turn for the worst
Just another morning...just another day. Then it happened.
To make a long story short, and I hate to leave you hangin with lack of details like this, but this morning, around 6am mountain time, I rolled my bronco. No worries, however, I am perfectly alright. Gonna take a lot more than a few cuts and a bump or something to take me out. Car is totaled however, but oh well. Could have been worse. I have survived to live another day, and with a nice little memory to keep with me forever. A story to tell for ages to come.
No worries...I'm O.K ^.^
To make a long story short, and I hate to leave you hangin with lack of details like this, but this morning, around 6am mountain time, I rolled my bronco. No worries, however, I am perfectly alright. Gonna take a lot more than a few cuts and a bump or something to take me out. Car is totaled however, but oh well. Could have been worse. I have survived to live another day, and with a nice little memory to keep with me forever. A story to tell for ages to come.
No worries...I'm O.K ^.^
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