Lately I have found myself lost in my thoughts, and sort of floating through life. I still lack a solid grasp on what I want my future to hold. What will I be doing in 10 years? What will I be doing tomorrow? For that matter, where will I be tomorrow?
As few of you may already know, I have relieved myself of my job at Albertsons. Wasn't the best sort of job for me. I'm too social, and need people to talk to, and working freight with just 2 other guys wasn't going to cut it. Especially considering the guys were each 30+ or so, and truth be told a little odd. Thankfully, I never did put in a two weeks notice at Home Depot, so I may continue bringing forth my wrath upon them. But there is more good news here than on the surface. We must dive in deep to seek out the true benefits to what we have.
My roommate and I have already made plans to leave our current "home" in seek of another, and more importantly one in Boise. On the cover, reasons are to be closer to school when we start that up, but when you open the book and begin to read you find that there are more reasons that you first thought. Being in Boise gives reason to me working at the Boise Home Depot still.
All these plans...ideas..goals..thats all they are. Could they help lead me to my future? As I wander aimlessly throughout this new path I have found, hopefully I can find my way.
Saturday, March 31, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
I have a dream...or had
Is anyone truly ever ready to give up on their hopes and dreams for a new life?
Maybe this is a little overly dramatic, considering my current situation. Its not really a new life we're looking at. Just a new job. However this does mean leaving behind my hopes and dreams...my mystery girl...
Today I heard they were hiring freight guys at the Albertsons near my house. Naturally, since i had applied a few days prior, I thought, what the hell...lets go check it out. Walked in off the street and got an interview right away. Nailed the interview. I mean, what do you expect? I did get a medal in academic decathlon for my interview skills. They want me in for a drug test later on today, then I start. In one hand we have this new beginning, but in the other we have the perfect girl, and my crappy job that I put up with to be with her.
Now its not like her and I are or were actually dating. But seeing her day in and day out like I did always gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, her and I would be together. I really like her, and I still do. I can only hope that either a miracle happens here soon, or that we have another chance later on down the road when I move back out to Boise.
One can only hope...and dream.
Maybe this is a little overly dramatic, considering my current situation. Its not really a new life we're looking at. Just a new job. However this does mean leaving behind my hopes and dreams...my mystery girl...
Today I heard they were hiring freight guys at the Albertsons near my house. Naturally, since i had applied a few days prior, I thought, what the hell...lets go check it out. Walked in off the street and got an interview right away. Nailed the interview. I mean, what do you expect? I did get a medal in academic decathlon for my interview skills. They want me in for a drug test later on today, then I start. In one hand we have this new beginning, but in the other we have the perfect girl, and my crappy job that I put up with to be with her.
Now its not like her and I are or were actually dating. But seeing her day in and day out like I did always gave me hope that maybe, just maybe, her and I would be together. I really like her, and I still do. I can only hope that either a miracle happens here soon, or that we have another chance later on down the road when I move back out to Boise.
One can only hope...and dream.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Banned
That's right, banned. I was banned last night from one of my favorite CS servers because I was on a roll and they thought i was hacking. Just because I got lucky enough to nail 12 headshots in a row without dying does not make me a hacker...just makes me lucky. Whiny little bitches...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Another day, another dollar...yet I'm still broke
Ever have one of those moments that just stop you in your tracks and make you wonder? Well this story isn't entirely about that. First off I don't usually make any sort of distinguishable track, and I wonder all the time. But enough of the games, today was definitely a shocking one.
The day started like any other. Got up at 6am in order to make it out to work in time for my 8am shift. An update for those now joining us, I currently ride my bike to work. Tis an hour and a half bike ride, but I somehow manage without killing myself. Any who, the only thing to mark this day different than any other, was that it was my birthday. Yes the day of days finally had been brought upon me.
Now of course your birthday amongst your peers is always a questionable adventure, now matter what age you seem to be. You could be turning 16 in high school, or in my case 20 and about to head to work with people ranging from 18-50. Either way, people can tell a lot about you by the way you treat your birthday. How you react to people wishing you a happy birthday, and of course, if you make a big deal about your birthday. Normally I don't really care about what others think...
Who the hell am I kidding, of course I care what others think. Every last person in society cares what others think. It could be the creepy emo kid cutting himself, all the way to the valedictorian making photocopies of his/her report card and posting it all over the school. Everyone cares about what others think. Its all on how you show it.
I feel only a true friend would wish you happy birthday without needing to be reminded that it is in fact your birthday. Not that I'm saying I have all my friends birthdays memorized, but remembering something as significant as a birthday seems to create a sort of unique bond between the thanker and the thankee.
When it comes right down to it, I don't really care too much about my fellow coworkers. True, like i mentioned before, everyone cares what others think, but at the time their thoughts weren't so much a part of my own. Truly I only really wondered if she'd remembered. No, not wondered...hoped.
Maybe I put too much pressure on it, but I felt that if she thinks about me remotely the way I think about her, my mystery girl would remember and mention my birthday. Might even be the first words out of her mouth. Sadly though, they were the last words out of her mouth, but only because someone nearby reminded her. I might be blowing this out of proportion a little, and I really think I am...but with that very act of having to remind her in front of me while I appeared distracted just stopped me in my tracks and got me wondering...
"what does she really think about me?"
The day started like any other. Got up at 6am in order to make it out to work in time for my 8am shift. An update for those now joining us, I currently ride my bike to work. Tis an hour and a half bike ride, but I somehow manage without killing myself. Any who, the only thing to mark this day different than any other, was that it was my birthday. Yes the day of days finally had been brought upon me.
Now of course your birthday amongst your peers is always a questionable adventure, now matter what age you seem to be. You could be turning 16 in high school, or in my case 20 and about to head to work with people ranging from 18-50. Either way, people can tell a lot about you by the way you treat your birthday. How you react to people wishing you a happy birthday, and of course, if you make a big deal about your birthday. Normally I don't really care about what others think...
Who the hell am I kidding, of course I care what others think. Every last person in society cares what others think. It could be the creepy emo kid cutting himself, all the way to the valedictorian making photocopies of his/her report card and posting it all over the school. Everyone cares about what others think. Its all on how you show it.
I feel only a true friend would wish you happy birthday without needing to be reminded that it is in fact your birthday. Not that I'm saying I have all my friends birthdays memorized, but remembering something as significant as a birthday seems to create a sort of unique bond between the thanker and the thankee.
When it comes right down to it, I don't really care too much about my fellow coworkers. True, like i mentioned before, everyone cares what others think, but at the time their thoughts weren't so much a part of my own. Truly I only really wondered if she'd remembered. No, not wondered...hoped.
Maybe I put too much pressure on it, but I felt that if she thinks about me remotely the way I think about her, my mystery girl would remember and mention my birthday. Might even be the first words out of her mouth. Sadly though, they were the last words out of her mouth, but only because someone nearby reminded her. I might be blowing this out of proportion a little, and I really think I am...but with that very act of having to remind her in front of me while I appeared distracted just stopped me in my tracks and got me wondering...
"what does she really think about me?"
Saturday, March 3, 2007
Say Cheese
The time has finally come...for pictures! Yes, pictures. All of you who have been waiting, and anticipating can wait no longer. I giveth to you...pictures of my wreck.
Lets see...an explaination is in order. First picture is me. The survivor, standing next to my car. Second is a front view of the car, close up on the windshield. Third picture is of the broken window which I climbed out of to escape the wreck. Out of the 3 back windows, its the only one that broke. And the last picture is of the driver side door, where i was sitting during the wreck. Enjoy the pictures. If you want more, head on over to my myspace page. You'll need an account, but here is the link. www.myspace.com/bigmacrazy
Lets see...an explaination is in order. First picture is me. The survivor, standing next to my car. Second is a front view of the car, close up on the windshield. Third picture is of the broken window which I climbed out of to escape the wreck. Out of the 3 back windows, its the only one that broke. And the last picture is of the driver side door, where i was sitting during the wreck. Enjoy the pictures. If you want more, head on over to my myspace page. You'll need an account, but here is the link. www.myspace.com/bigmacrazy
Sunday, February 25, 2007
A turn for the worst
Just another morning...just another day. Then it happened.
To make a long story short, and I hate to leave you hangin with lack of details like this, but this morning, around 6am mountain time, I rolled my bronco. No worries, however, I am perfectly alright. Gonna take a lot more than a few cuts and a bump or something to take me out. Car is totaled however, but oh well. Could have been worse. I have survived to live another day, and with a nice little memory to keep with me forever. A story to tell for ages to come.
No worries...I'm O.K ^.^
To make a long story short, and I hate to leave you hangin with lack of details like this, but this morning, around 6am mountain time, I rolled my bronco. No worries, however, I am perfectly alright. Gonna take a lot more than a few cuts and a bump or something to take me out. Car is totaled however, but oh well. Could have been worse. I have survived to live another day, and with a nice little memory to keep with me forever. A story to tell for ages to come.
No worries...I'm O.K ^.^
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Round 2
Long time no post...yeah I know, been busy. I'm sure you all want to hear about it, right? Meh, fine. Only because I am bored.
Honestly, throughout most of my life, I never actually HAD to deal with a financial situation as close to being in debt as I was recently. Not gonna lie, I was a little scured. That's right, I said scured not scared. What are you gonna do about it? Nonetheless, I was able to slowly, but surely, recover from the threat that was me going broke. I am slowly recuperating and beginning to create a safe balance yet again. *very sarcastic* Hurrah for me.
Its not that I'm disappointed that I saved my life financially, in fact I'm pretty happy about that. One less thing to worry about. Its just that yesterday I finally got the courage to ask my mystery girl out yet again. I know its been awhile since my last attempt, but hey...a maybe like that took a lot out of my self esteem. Either way, from what you can tell, I'm sure, I was rejected, but not because she doesn't want to go out with me, but more because my timing was bad yet again. I mean, what the fuck are the odds that Friday, the day I ask her out for, was her brothers birthday. I mean, fricken a. Oh well, didn't actually use the word date this time, more of "would you like to go to *insert random function here* with me on Friday", to which she replied that it was her brothers birthday. *sigh* Oh well. Something did happen this week that I would like to share in light of me asking her out.
A couple days before asking my mystery girl out again, I had what some might call an epiphany. When asking myself why I wasn't asking her out, I came across a quote that put it all into perspective for me. "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". Wow...I was letting the fear of rejection prevent me from asking her out constantly until she said yes....or get away from me. Subconsciously of course, because my heart wanted me to ask her out...so yeah. Either way though, I should have seen this coming. I had the same basic problem with football awhile back as well. I always let the fear of the next day watching film and watching myself mess up and getting yelled at prevent me from playing the game to my fullest. After realizing that I went out the next game and literally took a guy in each arm and drove them back like 15 yards or so. Basically dominating that entire team up and down the field. Had at least 20 or so pancake blocks. Was a great game. Hopefully upon this realization with my mystery girl, I will be able to give round 3 a shot and get a yes.
You know what they say...third time's the charm.
Honestly, throughout most of my life, I never actually HAD to deal with a financial situation as close to being in debt as I was recently. Not gonna lie, I was a little scured. That's right, I said scured not scared. What are you gonna do about it? Nonetheless, I was able to slowly, but surely, recover from the threat that was me going broke. I am slowly recuperating and beginning to create a safe balance yet again. *very sarcastic* Hurrah for me.
Its not that I'm disappointed that I saved my life financially, in fact I'm pretty happy about that. One less thing to worry about. Its just that yesterday I finally got the courage to ask my mystery girl out yet again. I know its been awhile since my last attempt, but hey...a maybe like that took a lot out of my self esteem. Either way, from what you can tell, I'm sure, I was rejected, but not because she doesn't want to go out with me, but more because my timing was bad yet again. I mean, what the fuck are the odds that Friday, the day I ask her out for, was her brothers birthday. I mean, fricken a. Oh well, didn't actually use the word date this time, more of "would you like to go to *insert random function here* with me on Friday", to which she replied that it was her brothers birthday. *sigh* Oh well. Something did happen this week that I would like to share in light of me asking her out.
A couple days before asking my mystery girl out again, I had what some might call an epiphany. When asking myself why I wasn't asking her out, I came across a quote that put it all into perspective for me. "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game". Wow...I was letting the fear of rejection prevent me from asking her out constantly until she said yes....or get away from me. Subconsciously of course, because my heart wanted me to ask her out...so yeah. Either way though, I should have seen this coming. I had the same basic problem with football awhile back as well. I always let the fear of the next day watching film and watching myself mess up and getting yelled at prevent me from playing the game to my fullest. After realizing that I went out the next game and literally took a guy in each arm and drove them back like 15 yards or so. Basically dominating that entire team up and down the field. Had at least 20 or so pancake blocks. Was a great game. Hopefully upon this realization with my mystery girl, I will be able to give round 3 a shot and get a yes.
You know what they say...third time's the charm.
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